Tags
branding, design, london, marketing, marylebone, monocle cafe, publishing
This week I paid £3.50 for a chocolate bar. A chocolate bar called ‘Crunky’. I don’t know quite what madness came over me. I was in Marylebone’s newly-opened Monocle Café, a spin off from Monocle magazine, and somehow I’d taken leave of my senses.
Whatever force it was that was driving me was overwhelming, and I didn’t understand it, but I knew I was happy. Any power of independent thinking that I may once have possessed had been overwhelmed by slick Japanese-Scandi design, a slick international clientele, and the giddy but probably desperate hope that I might just pass as someone slick enough to belong there myself.
£3 for a macchiato, explained the dapper staff. No problem. Would you like to try Tyler Brûlé’s favourite Japanese chocolate bar for the aforementioned eye-watering price? God yes. How about a Parisian macaroon baked by a London-based Japanese bakery? Oh, please. My wallet still hasn’t forgiven me, but I don’t regret a bit of it.
Monocle – the magazine edited by Mr Brûlé, that is – may be a fascinating read and a beautiful object, with its endearingly earnest mixture of business, current affairs and calmly aspirational lifestyle features. But above all, it’s an exercise in the canniest of branding. It’s this that has enabled it to break all the rules in the publishing book and come out on top. You just want to be part of their gang.
Monocle has always been much more than a magazine. To read it is to feel like a member of an international elite – jet-setting, entrepreneurial, and with impeccable taste, whether that’s really the case or not. If there’s one word that sums up Monocle, it’s ‘precious’.
It’s also full of articles on just how various institutions – department stores, cafes, hotels – would be run in an ideal Monocle world, a world in which we would all rejoice in the life-changing benefits of great design, and where entrepreneurship would skip hand in hand through the streets with social democratic values. So, when the first Monocle Café outside of Tokyo opened in London this month, I had to go and see what life in Monocle-land would be like.
(Actually, I’ve spent time in Midori House – the mag’s HQ – before and it was every bit as wonderful as I’d hoped. The café was good, but not quite as good, probably because this time the food and drink weren’t free.)
The Monocle Café is a small space with an aesthetic that, exactly like the pastries, lies somewhere between Scandinavia and Japan. The glasses and carafes, the cups, the trays, the teaspoons – all are, naturally, impeccably selected. Monocle’s radio station plays all day long, and back issues of the magazines stand proud against the walls. You can sit outside under a striped awning, or tucked away in an adjoining back room with sofas and a 24-hour news channel on a TV.
A customer asked if it might be possible to mute the sound on said TV while I was there. It was not possible, he was informed. Tyler Brûlé had decided that the TV would show what the TV was showing – with sound – and that the radio would play what the radio was playing. And so it would be.
The Monocle Café is a totalitarian mini-state under the rule of an apparently benevolent and design-obsessed ruler. The brainwashing effects are remarkable – witness my profligate spending on what were nice, but by no means outstanding, things.
The Allpress-supplied coffee is good but far from being the best-made in central London. You can get much finer coffee for less. The tea is bagged, not loose-leaf. The pastries are great, because they’re brought in from great suppliers (Fabrique Bakery and Lanka Pâtisserie). The way the space is designed doesn’t allow you to sit in the front window, which in my mind is the best thing you can possibly do in a café. But I’ll go back and spend more money there because it made me feel good, even though I know that’s daft.
I’m a bit of a mug, I know. But an impeccably-designed Japanese Hasami porcelain mug. So that’s all right.
Edit: One of the nicest things about this day was getting the chance to catch up with my incredibly talented friend, the photographer Jonathan Daniel Pryce. He’s best known for his 100 Beards project but as you can see, he takes a damn fine photo generally, follicular accessories or no. Here I am outside the café, grinning about having been so stylishly ripped off. If you like stylish things in general then you must check out Jon’s photography…
segmation said:
Love this blog! Have a great heartful day!
kellyscott57 said:
now your talkin love coffee
bdh63 said:
If you have to be a mug, why not a high-end elegant one? Too funny. Peace and comfort is worth it wherever you find it.
cakeandfinewine said:
When you put it like that, £3 is a small price to pay…
bdh63 said:
I was just reflecting this morning, basking in the spring sunshine, outside Starbucks that sunshine + caffeine + sugar = zen contentment. In my case, I always get a non-fat chai latte, and consider myself happy. I walk there and back, and sometimes even manage to plot out stories. I feel no guilt, but perhaps I should. Maybe I will someday, just to try it out.
Ronald Joseph Kule said:
Brand name bargains… what a thrill, eh?
alexanderschimpf said:
I’ve been looking at the picture of the teaspoon for a minute now, and I’m failing to see how it could qualify as “impeccably selected.” Though, I have to admit, it is at an an impressively accurate 45 degree angle relative to the coffee and tray in both pictures you supplied!
cakeandfinewine said:
Ha. It’s beautifully-weighted, though the matching forks are perhaps more distinctively beautiful.
Jessica said:
At some point in my life, many £3 coffees in, I admitted to myself once and for all that the reason I go to cafes is at most only half about the coffee. Spending time in a good cafe makes me feel like how I imagine one would feel on a regular basis going into their living room if they were the kind of person with time, money, and aesthetic flair to make said living room something other than a box with a couch in it. So I prefer to think of my £3 as just the rental price for the living room of my dreams. Which, especially if you include the free coffee, is quite a deal!
cakeandfinewine said:
That’s a fine way to think about it, though I still find it cheeky that they charge 50% more than the average swish coffee shop for basically a shot of espresso. I’m mostly with you, though.
The Rider said:
Sometimes coffee is worth every penny of whatever they are asking for it!
thedj4461 said:
Reblogged this on The View from The DJ booth .
allthoughtswork said:
“Crunky” is now my official code name for anything overpriced simply because it is “in.” For instance, the cotton socks I buy in the pack of 6 are uncrunky. The shoes that go around them lack crunk, too. I cook my own food, brew my own beverages, and make a lot of my own clothes, which is all fairly crunkless. As a matter of fact, my life is pretty much sans-crunk. But my peace of mind is unlimited, thank goodness.
cakeandfinewine said:
Useful. I like it!
owls house london. said:
lovely stuff!
marymtf said:
A friend told me once that in her late teens she was in a swank retail store asking the saleswoman there the price of an outfit she was admiring. The haughty saleswoman (you’d have thought she owned the shop) responded with something like ‘if you need to know how much, then you can’t afford it.’ My friend can afford it now but hasn’t been back.
I’m imagining that you paid up for similar reasons. I don’t mind where I go when I’m on my own as long as the coffee is hot, they leave me alone once I’ve been served and the light is good enough to read by. Well done to you for being freshly pressed.
cakeandfinewine said:
Thanks Mary! That saleswoman sounds like she needed a good ticking off…
freewillgirl said:
I wanted to visit this cafe but didn’t have time. Will definitely try it out next time I’m in London 🙂
cakeandfinewine said:
They’re opening their kitchen and launching a proper café light-lunch menu soon, so that might be running once you visit. Interested to see what it’s like…
carolina4444 said:
Very nice !!
David said:
Love the tray! 🙂 Otherwise, the idea of renting a lifestyle is spot on.
Kodiak My Little Grizzly said:
interesting food items.
moodsnmoments said:
ohhh, i love a good pretty cafes. can spend hours in there. i love the peace it offers at times, sometimes i just like to sit and observe. each cuppa has a new story to unfold but you should be patient enough to listen to it. and if you manage to, then the price paid seems immaterial.
well done. well written post. congratulations!
artsygenius said:
I remember the first time I paid a fortune for a coffee in Paris… a few years later I almost paid $20 for strawberries at the street market because I mis-heard the price and had become immune to sticker shock. Fashion, travel and fancy coffees are so dangerous for your wallet, but they do make for wonderful memories, so it kinda works out. 🙂
cakeandfinewine said:
$20 for strawberries?! That’s crazy. What were they, gold-plated?
dmchale said:
http://www.dlmchale.com writes: Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. I enjoyed reading your post and will spend some additional time on your blog in the hopes of experiencing some more of your talented and “authentic” voice. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It was fabulous!
The Grubworm said:
I can totally understand the appeal. The magazine has had me thinking that £300 for a bag seems pretty reasonable. Not that I could ever hope to afford that bag… It’s a very canny exercise in beautifully designed branding and you’ve nailed the Monocle magic – you just want be part of their very cool gang. I’d love to see how they’ve applied that to a cafe, but I don’t think they’ll be opening in Brighton any time soon.
Audrey said:
The first issue of Monocle I read was a two-year old issue on the most livable cities. I read it end to end anyway. I’ve yet to pin down what exactly I love about it, and what it stands for. Thanks for summing it up!
fealteandrosebud said:
You made me chuckle – merci xx
m3thodical said:
My next beverage idea: Crunky? Fun article, thanks for sharing.
Ronald Joseph Kule said:
Any respite one can find, even inside of a coffee mug and a candy bar, is a good thing these days.
Fay said:
I guess when you get closer into the centre of London prices go up for the companies overheads so they try to up prices for customers!
The coffee looks pretty but its all about the taste! I love a macaroon however so i might have to pay it a visit – although Paul satisfies my needs for now!
Mercedes said:
This was probably the most adorable thing I read all day (despite your £3 woes). And ironically enough, the music I was listening to as I read it was equally as hip, for a lack of better words, as the article. Violin Romance no. 2 anyone?
Anywho, excellent read, congrats on the Freshley Pressed, and welcome a new follower (if this app would work)!
cakeandfinewine said:
Aww, thanks! Glad you enjoyed. I’ll have to keep it up now…
Hayley Colton said:
Thanks for sharing.. I love your blog
eva626 said:
i love going to fancy fancy places! its all in the experience…i try to blend in with the ‘crowd’…lol
whysamiam said:
Love it
mrscarmichael said:
I had run out of places to be ripped off in London but you have opened my eyes/taste buds. Arigatou.
A Londoner from Afar said:
I identify myself with the chocolate rush! Was it good? I also need to check this place when I finally go to Tokyo, and the publication. Thanks for telling us about it!
davidstrachan611 said:
Cafes are these wonderful places where Sartre talked philosophy and J.K.Rowling wrote her first Harry Potter novel and where the coffee is incidental (but usually excellent).
Jonathan Caswell said:
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
LOOK AT THE COCOA (?) MUG AT THE END!
Jennie Mei said:
feeling a sense of peace while reading this =)
Audrey & Antoinette said:
This cafe looks adorable. Nice break from all the cafe nero’s 😉
Your post makes me miss London!
cakeandfinewine said:
Indeed. Lots of great indies in London now and growing all the time, though, so there are so many options. Ah yes, London. Where else can you pay £3 for an espresso?
whatalicedidnext said:
I’d pay that much purely for aesthetic purposes. love it and am definitely going to pop in for some over priced good looking stuff!
http://www.whatalicedidnext.com
cakeandfinewine said:
You’re in the same camp as me then when it comes to thinking about this kind of thing. Perhaps we’ll bump into each other one sunny afternoon…
whatalicedidnext said:
sure! I’ll be the one with the (enter various colours) Cambridge satchel and Sweedish Hasbeens clogs reading Dazed and Confused or (insert obscure Russian novelist) book 🙂
cakeandfinewine said:
Ha! I’ll keep my eyes peeled.
A Closet of Dreams said:
Sounds so lovely! x
tingtingstyling said:
Its funny how a magazine would have a spin off and establish a coffee shop. But not for Monocle, they always have a strong branding and do a lot of collaboration with other brands like Porter. I’m waiting for their hotel, spa and airline in the not too distance future.
cakeandfinewine said:
I don’t doubt but they’re in the pipeline. And apartments too, probably!
cozyblanketsnowflakerepetitioncompulsion said:
It sounds like a great indulgence — one I would enjoy engaging in!
lilycatherine said:
Such a cute place!
eatsweatwrite said:
Very funny… really enjoyed this. The Monocle Cafe is just too-aptly named for such a “precious” place. Thank you!
Jonathan said:
Cafés where you can’t sit in the windows are infuriating, even worse are the ones where you can only to then discover you can’t see a bloody thing through the badly laminated menus splattered right across the eyeline. Café rage.
Sandra Hersey said:
Ohh what a pretty café! I could stay in there all day!
Sandra @ The Adored Home
Nikki said:
A wonderfully entertaining read – you’re a master of your art! Thank you.
alisonsye said:
Great post. Love your blog. Shall look forward to reading more.
jaypochapin said:
Thank you for a most entertaining post; as much as I relish a superb cup of coffee, I fear I lack sufficient crunk to aspire to your level of epicurean delight. I must live vicariously through you and your friend who takes such inspired photos. The design elements are superb! All best!
crunkle said:
Is it just me, or does the tray look like one of those ones they serve airline meals off…
denisskatjko said:
Reblogged this on Deniss Katjko.